EGM Refuses to Review Endless Ocean

While writing my own review for the incredible game Endless Ocean I happened upon the fact that EGM has refused to review it. They claim that Endless Ocean isn't a game labeling it with the new Wii hating fanboy term "non-game" that is one of the worst terms to arise from this generation's console wars. Instead EGM gave the game a tiny box on the bottom of one of their pages and tried to explain how EO wasn't really a game because you couldn't kill or be killed.

Why isn't it a game?
Endless Ocean gives you a sailboat and a stretch of the South Pacific to explore at 10 fathoms. What it doesn't give you is danger, conflict, enemies, a story, obstacles a health bar, bosses... you know, game stuff. You don't even have to worry about your air supply. Ever tried diving without an air guage? Diving's a supersafe sport, but if you don't follow a few simple rules, you could rupture your lungs or catch agonizing decompression sickness or just drift into a happy warm funk until you run out of air. I'm not saying EO needs to give players the bends, but it'd be nice if the occasional fish at least tried to eat you.

Wait, you mean the fish don't bite?
Nope, not even when you chum the water and then reach out to pet them with your Wii remote. EO's fauna - both the fish below and hte birds above the water - exist solely to satisfy your critter-molestation desires. It's be like Mario going to the Mushroom Kingdom just to grope all the Goombas and the Koopas. At least the manta ray in Super Mario Galaxy will kill ya if you ride him wrong, for cryin' out loud. Your goal here ultimately is to catalog as many fish as you can get in petting distance, stopping along the way to give dive tours to tourists who want in on the hot fin-petting action. And if that sounds more like work than a game, then bingo - That's why EO kicks off our inaugural installment of Electronic Nongaming Monthly. - Crispin Boyer

First of all Endless Ocean does feature an air gauge. It runs out and give you about an hour before you have to come up. Of course EGM is known to outright lie about Wii games so this is not surprising.

While I've pointed out some of EGM/1up's fanboy stupidities I have to say that this is the absolute worst. This publication has become the epitome of stupid, immature, narrow minded fanboy gaming and it's utterly revolting. I lost respect for these idiots a long time ago, but now I've lost all respect for the gamers that like and follow these worthless hacks. 

Since the Wii launched they've done nothing but attack it and give life to every stupid Wii hating fanboy argument. They've embraced derogatory fanboy terms like "non-game" and have gone out of their way to discredit quality Wii games in review after review. I guess the next step was to just stop reviewing Wii games altogether and labeling them as shit that don't even deserve a review. EGM/1up are pure, utter garbage. 

What's worse is that their Wii bashing is getting the spotlight in a new monthly segment called "nongaming monthly" where they will bash a new Wii game every month. You have to be a really bitter fanboy in order to dedicate a monthly segment to bashing a certain console. Elitist morons like these, who think that the only games worth playing are the ones they like, are what 's wrong with gaming today. It's sad that the stupid console wars has brought gaming to such a new low, and it's even more sad that so-called professional videogame journalists are helping to bring it down.

Source: EGM 225, Feb 2008, Page 86

tags: nintendo  wii  egm  1up  crispin boyer  journalism  fanboy  ps3  xbox  360  hate  endless  ocean  review  

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